Jesus Christ Couldn’t Save Matt Gaetz Now

I need to take a moment to make something perfectly clear to all of you doubting Toms out there who are always saying, ‘but nothing is ever gonna happen to them!’ Matt Gaetz is quite simply, fucked. There is nothing ambiguous here, not partially fucked, not fucked a little, I mean all the way roto router with a glass cactus fucked.

I just read the plea agreement for Joel Greenberg who Gaetz said aloud several times that was his, ‘wingman.’ In this plea agreement, Greenberg admits to drug-fueled parties with cocaine and ecstasy which he paid at least one minor extra to take along with other women. He admits to trafficking a minor for sex *to Matt Gaetz*.

He stalked other women for the purposes to intimidate them into having sex using an electronic device across state lines.

He forged the identifications of other people to use in a fraud scheme to get PPE loans.

This plea is a tome of human treachery and criminality that is hard to believe.

He stole almost $700,000 in money from his tax collector job to get a bitcoin operation going. He stole $200,000 from a close relative.

He is a convicted sex offender now.

But most importantly, he is providing evidence to the government about Matt Gaetz. He pleaded guilty to 26 felonies under the penalty of more…