This Far, No Farther

My dad retired a Lt. Colonel in the Army. He loved the army. The discipline and regiment appeals to certain kinds of minds. As a teenager, I wanted to make my dad proud like all sons but that was just a silly unattainable dream.

The one thing that my dad respected above all things was that Army Ranger badge. He never got one and never even tried but he wanted that badge like Matt Gaetz wants that girl to be of legal age. But you can’t buy things like that as much as you might want one, you can only earn it.

After a series of unfortunate events with some school bullies, I started getting in shape to dole out some justice and I eventually did. But after that, I set my mind to getting that Ranger badge. I started running and lifting weights like a madman. I sang that Army Ranger song while I ran because I was going to get that badge come hell or high water.

Every year, dad had maneuvers in Ft. Knox because he was a tank commander. So when I was 14, he was a major then, he got permission to bring me along. This was singularly the greatest thing I ever got to do with my dad.

I loaded weapons, shot weapons, marched, it was playing army heaven and I was in shape. Dad outfitted me with all the camouflage I needed and I had a fricking ball doing it. I got on an M60 with all the ammunition I could shoot and was just buzzing trees in half…