This is the speech I would give if I were in the house today.

Ladies and Gentleman,

We gather this 13th day of January a mere seven days before the president vacates the office 81 million Americans voted him out of because he has yet again brazenly broken his oath of office and betrayed the people he swore to protect from enemies both foreign and domestic. Our colleagues on the other side of the aisle have once again brought shame and dishonor to our beloved republic because once again they have shown all of us here today that their spines have the same gelatinous consistency of a fresh batch of Jello which admittedly has been a common case for the last four years.

Here in the Citadel of Democracy, blood was shed only a week ago with the aid and assistance of not only the president and his most devoted collaborators but also with members of this body who sought with brute force to annul the results of a free and fair election that they indeed lost. The last time the enemies of democracy and friends of tyrants invaded these halls was during the War of 1812 but those invaders did not have the consent of the people who would raise our Republic into the shiny city on the hill that shined on distant shores for nearly 250 years through the torrential storms of history and transmogrified into the beacon of light our nation has become to many other nations.